subject: Umm

Have I ever told you about the time a random gay man crawled into my bed and slept next to me? The thing is, the explanation doesn't make the story make more sense so here is the email my tall gay roommate sent me while the random gay dude was cuddling me with his flaccid dick resting on my leg:

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from: TGR
to: The Asian Sensation
date Sun, Oct 5, 2008 at 6:51 AM
subject: Umm


I'm sorry that it is 6:49 am and I cannot get the naked man who is sleeping in your bed to GET UP AND GET OUT OF YOUR BED. I'm sorry that you have to put up with this and I really do not know how to rectify this situation. So I'm apologizing now before the morning because I'm pretty exasperated and unsure of how to proceed. I'm mean... how do I get the naked, belligerent man out of your bed? I DON'T KNOW??? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? IS THIS THE TWILIGHT ZONE?!!!!?????

I love you. Thank you for your humor and your patience.

Love TGR.

Sorry.

Sorry again.

Yikes.

Oh brother.

-TGR

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No, for realzies, THIS SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE.